News!
The Porter
Don't be fooled by his boy-ish good looks this one has been seen "popping caps" in peoples ass's for years and has never been stopped because of the insane ammount of concentration of WINRAR in his body.
A Victims response to the attack: Victim (Nigerian): "HE CAME OUTTA NOWHERE, LIKE THUNDA YA HEAR ME, FLEW DOWN OUTTA DA SKY AN ROB' ME SHOPPIN, NONE O' DEM CHEERIOS FO' WEEK!" We ended the interview here as the Nigerian broke down into tears.
Terrible crimes this creature has commited we know, so Ladies, Gentleman, Xenos and Other... I give you the BEAST!
PLANET ENDOR
I hope that one day Earth could be more like Endor, where the Ewoks live. Endor is very cool.
They have trees and Ewoks, and barbecues, which is why I like Endor more than Earth because it's way cooler.